Friday, August 22, 2014

The Top 10 Reasons Why We Need to Save the Extra Space After a Period

1.  Because anyone over the age of 35 will have to relearn how to type and we've got enough problems trying to figure out our heath insurance.

2.  Because it changes the balance of power between the period and the comma, placing them at the same level (which makes the period bitter).

3.  Because changing rules about grammar should be against the law.  I can understand how scientists can come back and tell us that some dinosaur we studied in elementary school never actually existed or that Pluto isn't a real planet.  But getting rid of this space?  Just plain arbitrary to me.

4.  Because it shifts the focus from the real problem at hand:  people who capitalize words in the middle of a sentence that they think are important.

5.  Because it gives my kids the upper hand when they correct me as I type.  And that I won't stand for.

6.  Because typing this, and focusing on this issue, is keeping me from working on the manuscript I should be trying to finish.

7.  Because now I have to track down my high school typing teacher and demand that I get those points back that were deducted when I didn't hit the space bar enough.

8.  Because I think it makes us lazier as a society.  It's bad enough that all we do is sit around looking at our we can't take the time to hit the space bar twice?

9.  Because it brings out the rebel in me who wants to add a third space just to piss off the person who changed this rule which will lead me down a path of personal destruction.  And when I'm eventually asked by my rehab counselor why I'm there I will have to answer, "Because they took that extra space after a period away!"

10.  Because it makes people who have never given a hoot about punctuation before think they're so smart as they' post all of these funny cartoons about the now defunct extra space.  Seriously?  Did you even know there were two spaces before?  You capitalize Important Words in the middle of your Sentence, for crying out loud!