Hardly a week goes by that I don't hear from at least one person about a particular situation, "I've decided to be the bigger person." This declaration is usually followed by a self-suffering sigh and possibly a slight roll of the eyes.
Usually, being "the bigger person" applies to dealing with circumstances within one's family (I would say at least 60% have to do with in-laws), but it can also apply to friends, neighbors, and, of course, that jerk who cut you off in traffic.
Being "the bigger person" takes a lot of work because, in any given situation, it takes a lot less effort to say, "Good God, you're an idiot" than it does to try and come up with reasons why that idiot acted the way he did. Usually being "the bigger person" requires a lot of speculation on our part. We come up with excuses to try and reason with ourselves so that we can eventually quash the urge to just haul off and smack the other person.
"Maybe his dog died recently and he's just not thinking straight."
"Maybe she has PMS."
"It's quite possible that stupidity runs in her family and she really can't help it."
Now, when I Googled "being the bigger person" (I just love searching for random stuff like that), there were many blogs and articles about "bigger" people who are suffering all over the world. They're taking the high road, but since they're blogging about it, you can tell they don't like it. By the way...I don't think you can call yourself "the bigger person" if you blog about your complaint. That really defeats the purpose.
Another article came up that actually had 8 steps to becoming the bigger person. And I truly admire those people who came up with these ideas. They're a lot perkier than I am and all of their advice had to do with smiling and staying positive. And I get that.
The problem is that it didn't address what I should do when I wake up in the middle of the night and think, "Ugh. I wish I had said (insert rude comment here)."
Let's face it. Being "the bigger person" often means taking a lot of shit from someone else and then not defending your viewpoint. In some circles, being "the bigger person" is code for "you're a coward and now I know I can walk all over you." Admit it: There are times when you think back to a situation where you were "the bigger person" and regret that you didn't just let the other person have it.
Are "bigger people" really helping the world? Is it really better for everyone if we "bigger people" hold back on our opinions? Do the "smaller people" know something we don't? Do they sleep better at night, having unleashed their idiotic notions on us "bigger people," knowing that they got everything out of their systems with absolutely no backlash?
Usually what happens with "bigger people" is that one "small person" will push them a little too far and say one stupid thing over our limit. We won't say anything in that moment, but we will lay awake at night in bed, daydreaming about the next opportunity, when we will unleash years of "being big" on that person who mistakenly thought they had found a kindred "small person" spirit in us because we always smiled and nodded at whatever they said.
When I think of the sleepless nights I've had, fantasizing about a situation in my past and what I wish I would have said, I'm starting to feel like I wasn't necessarily "being big" and instead missed a prime opportunity to make the world a better place. By being "the bigger person," I have allowed countless "small people" to go about their business, sprinkling their seeds of idiocy, giving foolhardy advice, and senseless opinions.
Right now countless scenarios are running through my head.
Oh, dear. What have I done?
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