People Who Do

There is a distinct line between People Who Do and People Who Don't.  For years, I mistakenly thought that People Who Do were always Southerners and that was just a small facet of the hospitality that Southerners are known for.

This is not the case.

I'm hoping that I'm one of the People Who Do, but if I'm not, chances are the real People Who Do will not tell me, mainly because they are too nice.  And People Who Do are almost always gracious and would never tell someone that they just don't Do.

The reason why I thought for years that People Who Do were Southern was because of my mother.  Hardly a week would go by without her commenting to someone in her thick Southern accent, "She just doesn't know how to do.  You know?"

And the person would know because the person my mother would be talking to was a Doer as well.

But I've come to realize that not every Doer is Southern and that People Who Don't are just as likely to be from below the Mason-Dixon line as People Who Do.  The problem is that once you fall into the People Who Don't category...chances are you will never be able to transfer to the other side.

Much of being a Doer has to do with food.  For example:  A Doer would never ask you over for dinner and then expect you to bring an integral part of the meal.  That we just won't Do.  If we ask you to our home, you should expect that we have every part of the meal taken care of and that we have extended this invitation in order to showcase our extreme hospitality.  And, frankly, if you insist on bringing something anyway...it just throws us off our game completely.  You might think it appropriate to bring chips and dip for an appetizer and the Doer will completely panic, realizing that she doesn't have enough saucers to accommodate that because she has her smaller plates reserved for the dessert she's made.  And no, you can't just stand over the kitchen counter and scoop your dip.  That just won't Do.

A Doer will expect you to bring something, though.  We don't want a dish and will refuse your every offer, but if you should show up empty handed we will wonder what's wrong with you.  A bottle of wine or a small plant (not cut flowers because we will have to interrupt our Doing in order to artistically arrange them) would be appropriate.

People Who Do will never serve out of the kitchen.  We would prefer to dish everything up for our guests, but if the theme dictates, we are not above a buffet.  This buffet, however, will never be served from our counter or from the stove, but artfully arranged in a way that looks effortless, but in reality took us 2 days to put together. 

An original centerpiece is mandatory and may require a hot glue gun.

People Who Do, do not "potluck."  We will participate in yours, but never will we organize one.  If asked to bring something to your home, we will carefully prepare something and store it in a Tupperware container and then bring our good dishes to serve it on.  Do not offer us a plastic plate from which to serve from.  That we do not Do.

After your dinner (you know, the one we partially cooked), we will send you a thank-you note, thanking you for your hospitality.  (This is also a gentle reminder that we need the dish back that we brought over.) 

An unfortunate side-effect of People Who Do is the perception that we are somewhat controlling or anal.  And that's okay.  We can take that criticism.  Mainly because it comes from People Who Don't.

And they don't get it anyway.