Saying "I Do" to Reality Wedding Television

I have a slight obsession with reality wedding shows.  My Fair Wedding with David Tutera, Say Yes to the Dress, and even an occasional Bridezillas are all part of my regular TV viewing.  I even like to watch baking shows on the Food Network, just in case they throw in a wedding cake.

I don't really understand why I do it.  One would assume it's because I'm a girl and all girls want to get married (or so the myth goes).  One might also think that it's because I have visions of my prince dropping down on one knee and popping the question and saying, "You have $15,000 to spend on a dress and I expect you not to spend a penny less" and then whisking me away for an impromptu cake tasting.

My fascination with wedding shows has caused me to really dig deep and think about what I want for the future.  After watching 8 hours straight of women struggling into bridal gear, I'll usually end up asking myself, "Is that what I want?  Another wedding?"  But my answer is usually something along the lines of, "I don't give a hoot about a wedding.  I just want the honeymoon."

Which translates into:  I need a vacation.

This has come as a relief to my father who, when I started dating after the death of my husband, informed me, "I've paid for one.  The second one is on you."

That's fair.

Of course, this is coming from the man who told me when I was about 12-years-old that he would give me $50 on the spot if I agreed to elope when the time came.  He also offered to throw in a ladder, should my future intended require one.

I'm not the only one who loves watching these reality shows, but I get the feeling that most people I know don't do it on their own and wait until they're at my house to watch some woman go ape-shit on her Maid of Honor during the bachelorette party because she didn't wear the shirt that says I'm Her Bitch to Caesar's Palace as requested.  And I've had to start sneaking my wedding show reality TV because my oldest daughter has started to watch them with me.  I have a fear that, while planning her nuptials someday, she's going to look at me and say, "Wait.  Mom?  Where's my cascading table fountain/waterfall and the personalized slip covers for every one of the 500 chairs at the reception?  What's the deal here?" because she's watched too much David Tutera.

I guess when it comes down to it, I don't care too much about how the bride got there, so I don't watch The Bachelorette.  I'm not really all that concerned with the after either, which is why I never watched John and Kate Plus 8.  But give me a show where a size 20 woman is giving the alterations magician the stink eye because she can't understand why that dress doesn't make her look like a size 2 and...I can't help it.

I'm hooked.